Episode Transcript
[00:00:21] Speaker A: Welcome to 45. Left to right, podcast today is part one of my four or maybe five part series about ADHD.
I'm on social media a lot for work and for fun, and I see a lot of content about ADHD. And some of the content is, you know, kind of tongue in cheek to describe someone.
Usually moms. That's my algorithm.
Usually a person who's just overworked, overtired, overstimulated, and then, you know, and maybe they're just undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, suspect they have ADHD. And then I see a lot of content about people who have been diagnosed with ADHD. And they share, you know, how they cope and just what they experience. Kind of. A lot of it is like what their brain is experiencing or what they think about that sort of thing. And I know some of Devin's friends and then maybe some teammates from sports whose parents are trying to figure out if their kids have it or not. Or, you know, even some of them are thinking, well, would a diagnosis even help my kid in his or her life or not? And, you know, we have in the past wondered if Devin has it just for some kind of emotional overreactions he's had, but I don't think he does. He isn't, he doesn't have like a lot of the main traits for it.
For this episode, I'm going to talk about ADHD in the boys. I interviewed Devin's very good friend Alex, who has ADHD and has impressive insight into it and how it affects his daily life. Alex is a regular at our house, usually after school, and I have seen some of the ADHD traits that he has, especially his impulsivity.
Alex is twelve years old. He will be 13 in December. He wants you to know he is very intelligent and curious. He has a lot of energy. Like Devon. He is sensitive and he has a laugh and a smile that just lights up your life.
So enjoy my interview with Alex and excuse the crunching of his chip eating. I didn't really notice it until well into the interview, but his insight and comments on the ADHD are just really amazing and I hope you enjoy.
[00:03:51] Speaker B: Welcome to 45 left to right podcast.
[00:03:55] Speaker C: Yay.
[00:03:55] Speaker B: Today I have a very special guest. Introduce yourself. Who are you?
[00:04:02] Speaker C: Hello, my name is Alexander. I go to Parkview middle school with Devin from a previous interview and I have ADHD.
[00:04:11] Speaker B: Awesome. Thank you.
Let me find my notes here. So this episode, we're going to talk about ADHD in kids, specifically voice. And Alex here has graciously, well, he's begged me to be interviewed since I started the podcast, but he has agreed to talk to me about ADHD. But first tell me, how long have you known Devin? When did you guys meet?
[00:04:47] Speaker C: We met like at the end of fourth grade.
[00:04:51] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:04:52] Speaker C: And then go sort of. And then we like rode down the hill together on our scooters to go to school. And then it was actually one of, after one of my very two year ago basketball games that then I was able to introduce, yeah, my mom and you.
[00:05:19] Speaker B: I love her.
Yeah, I remember. I don't know how long it was, but Jeff would come out and say, there's this kid that is waiting for Devon. You know, I think at first it was the end of the street, and then you sort of started making your way up here. And then at one point you were like trying to scare Devin, you know, and then, so I was fourth grade, and then in fifth grade we met your mom and I think she was like, are you really going into some strangers house?
Right?
[00:05:55] Speaker C: Actually, no, that wasn't. I think that was actually during the summer.
[00:05:58] Speaker B: Was it during the summer?
[00:05:59] Speaker C: Yeah, cuz that's when all my basketball games.
[00:06:00] Speaker B: Okay, I don't remember, but, but yeah. And then fifth grade, you came in our house just before seven every morning. And what did we watch?
[00:06:12] Speaker C: The top ten.
[00:06:12] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:06:13] Speaker C: And the top non ten.
[00:06:15] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:06:16] Speaker C: Not top ten.
[00:06:18] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:06:19] Speaker C: Do you still even watch that?
[00:06:21] Speaker B: We do.
[00:06:22] Speaker A: We do.
[00:06:23] Speaker B: And the first, I think, was the first day of middle school when you had zero period pe. We were. We had like a moment of silence because Alex wasn't there to watch it with us. It was. It's different. It was different. Cool.
[00:06:40] Speaker C: And then I think my favorite, not top ten was the guy drinking beer through a hot dog.
[00:06:46] Speaker B: That's gross.
[00:06:50] Speaker A: Ew.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: I forgot about that.
[00:06:54] Speaker C: And then my favorite top tens are like the bicycle kicks.
[00:06:59] Speaker B: Yep. I remember you said once they need to do more bicycle kicks. And so now whenever we see a bicycle kick, I'm like, oh, Alex would like that. So we have our traditions, right?
[00:07:12] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:07:12] Speaker B: All right, so what are. Right now, what are your favorite subjects in school?
[00:07:22] Speaker C: My two band classes.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:24] Speaker C: And I never thought I would say this, but. History.
[00:07:30] Speaker A: Really?
[00:07:31] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:07:32] Speaker B: Awesome. Why did you. Why would you say you never would have said that?
[00:07:36] Speaker C: Because usually I hate history.
[00:07:37] Speaker B: Why?
[00:07:38] Speaker C: Because it's boring. I'm just like this.
[00:07:44] Speaker B: You have a very dynamic teacher this year.
[00:07:47] Speaker C: It seems to be, yeah. And also we got to make the rules for the twelve tables of Rome. And um, I purposefully went inside of the walkway so I could become a slave.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: You wanted to be a sleigh.
[00:08:01] Speaker C: Yeah, to mister dad.
It was fun. He was like, go pet Frederick.
[00:08:09] Speaker B: Wait, who's Frederick? Student?
[00:08:11] Speaker C: No. Remember when you went to the back to school night? That little horse that was in the corner? Oh, his name is Frederick.
[00:08:16] Speaker B: Oh, nice.
[00:08:18] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. And when I was back, he told me to bring everything, and he wanted my phone.
[00:08:25] Speaker B: Oh, really?
[00:08:26] Speaker C: Yeah, and I just completely trusted him because there's, like, nothing he can get into.
[00:08:30] Speaker B: That's true.
[00:08:31] Speaker C: Unless if he secretly knows the codes to stuff.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: Right, your mom.
[00:08:36] Speaker C: Yeah.
Yeah. And he went on there, and he's like, if there's social media, I would be like, all right, what's on the social media?
[00:08:46] Speaker B: There's none. Yeah, so.
[00:08:50] Speaker C: And then he went to the messages, and he said, who's Theresa? Who's Doris?
And I was like, she went to the back to school night in my head.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: Devin's mom.
[00:09:04] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what I said.
And then he said, whose? Beverage.
[00:09:10] Speaker B: Beverage?
[00:09:11] Speaker C: Yeah. Someone's nickname. Have you never heard us say it, Devin? Yeah.
[00:09:15] Speaker B: No. Why do they call him beverage?
Do I want to know?
[00:09:20] Speaker C: We don't have a reason.
[00:09:22] Speaker B: No, just beverage.
[00:09:23] Speaker C: Yeah, we just call him that.
[00:09:27] Speaker B: I did not know. I know. We're sitting here, it's 106 degrees, and we're in the car, and the AC.
[00:09:32] Speaker C: Is not working with these cooling seats. That on my side doesn't really work.
[00:09:37] Speaker B: But if you turn them off, you would notice the difference. Okay, no more chip eating. This is what it sounds like in the microphone.
All right, one last easy question for you. What do you play in band? Because I know you love bands.
[00:09:56] Speaker C: I play a trigger trombone and a bassoon.
Yeah, when I'm standing up, it goes, like, up to, like, underneath my lip.
[00:10:09] Speaker B: Well, that's perfect. It's right. Right where it needs to be.
[00:10:13] Speaker C: Well, no, you're not playing it up here. It's like. It's like.
[00:10:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Wait, like that?
[00:10:21] Speaker C: Well, there's, like, 26 skis on it, so. Or that's including all the holes and stuff.
[00:10:25] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, that's neat.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: All right.
[00:10:28] Speaker C: You even have to have a butt strap for it because it's that heavy.
[00:10:31] Speaker B: Wow.
Yeah.
All right, so let's get into the aviation questions.
So how old were you when you were told, or, like, you were aware that you had ADHD?
[00:10:56] Speaker C: Actually, I kind of known it for, like, almost my entire life.
[00:10:59] Speaker B: Oh, yeah?
[00:10:59] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:11:00] Speaker B: You knew the. Did you know the term, or you just knew? You know, I'm a little different. Or I'm funky.
[00:11:09] Speaker C: There you go. We'll shade. Yeah, you can't do that.
[00:11:13] Speaker B: So did uh, did like your mom say you have this and what it meant? Or do you remember?
[00:11:21] Speaker C: She sort of. She kind of told me what it meant a little bit. She didn't get into like the fundamentals and stuff like that.
[00:11:29] Speaker B: Right? Yeah, yeah, that's true.
For the record, I adore Alex's mom and you know, she's awesome and I think he's the perfect mom for you. Don't.
He's one of the eat chips now. Now that you're twelve and you're older, do you have more of an understanding of what it is?
[00:11:54] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:11:55] Speaker B: Yeah. What is it to you?
[00:11:59] Speaker C: I would say it would get you murdered in Rome, but because it's a major disability, sort of functional, but it's just kind of like, you know, you're different sometimes. Like if you take the meds, it's like you kind of like everybody else. If you take the meds.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:12:22] Speaker C: And. But it's like, it helps you like hyper focus and stuff like that, which I actually never noticed, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:12:31] Speaker B: That hyper focus is kind of an interesting thing because really could be like a superpower, you know?
[00:12:38] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:39] Speaker B: What are some things you think you hyper focus on?
[00:12:42] Speaker A: Like currently right now?
[00:12:45] Speaker B: Well, not in this moment, but.
[00:12:50] Speaker C: What's that band?
[00:12:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Do you like practice before school and everything?
[00:12:56] Speaker C: I barely have enough time to get like a couple of notice notes out and he's like, put your instrument away.
[00:13:01] Speaker B: Oh yeah.
[00:13:03] Speaker C: Or well, put your instrument away. So you need.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: But like that for you, that's something that really interesting and you know.
Yeah, I get that.
So have you ever. I know you have noticed this. Like, what do you think when you kind of look around and you're like, hey, I think I'm a little different than other kids, you know.
[00:13:29] Speaker C: Sorry, what was that question? I was looking at the scooter in the back.
[00:13:31] Speaker B: I know you. Oh yeah, that was back there.
Have you ever, or like when you look around at other kids maybe that are like, you know, like seeming to have an easy time paying attention or like not wiggly, you know? Have you ever kind of been like, huh, I think I'm different than other kids.
[00:13:53] Speaker C: Not really, because I don't really notice it.
[00:13:55] Speaker B: Yeah, you just kind of roll.
[00:13:56] Speaker C: Yeah, I just kind of roll with the blue.
[00:13:58] Speaker B: That's good. You are who you are.
[00:14:00] Speaker C: Although when I was in kindergarten, that was a whole different.
[00:14:03] Speaker B: Oh, really?
[00:14:04] Speaker C: I was like not on task. I was talking like crazy talk. And then there's finally one time when we're doing, like, this weird project. I forgot what it's called because, of course, it was, like, 55 years ago, but, um.
[00:14:17] Speaker B: Or seven.
[00:14:20] Speaker C: But, um, it was like, you're doing good, right? Good job. One day, like, that's never happened.
[00:14:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:30] Speaker C: You kind of were, like, in the kindergarten.
[00:14:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: You don't remember anyone ever saying or, you know, until then, like, hey, wow, good job. Good job, Alex. Yeah. Wow, that's interesting.
And I'm amazed that you remember, you know, back then. That's. That's impressive.
All right, so there's 1234. A few official symptoms. ADhd. Right.
[00:14:56] Speaker A: And I want you to tell me.
[00:14:58] Speaker B: If you are aware that you have them or, like, you have them. All right.
[00:15:03] Speaker C: All right.
[00:15:04] Speaker B: Okay. All right. So the first one is inattention. So can't focus or stay on task. Forgetting things.
[00:15:14] Speaker C: I know that. Check.
[00:15:15] Speaker B: Are you a daydreamer?
[00:15:16] Speaker C: No.
[00:15:17] Speaker B: Okay, some more. Just can't focus.
[00:15:19] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:15:19] Speaker B: Yeah. Girls tend to daydream if they have ADHD. I learned this today. Okay, I think we all know the answer to this one, but. Hyperactivity.
Running around like a crazy person, feeling restless, unable to sit still.
Is that a check?
[00:15:39] Speaker C: Check.
All right, Justin, that's not check.
[00:15:45] Speaker B: Oh, I beg to differ. And Devon is also a wild boy, so. All right.
Impulsivity.
Acting without thinking, interrupting, pushing or grabbing.
[00:16:01] Speaker C: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, definitely. Sometimes I even look at my Christmas presents when she's not looking.
[00:16:08] Speaker B: You, what do you do?
[00:16:10] Speaker C: I just kind of go, like.
[00:16:11] Speaker B: Remember she listens.
I know you. You peak.
[00:16:16] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:16:17] Speaker B: Yeah. What are some other things, like, impulsive you think that you can think of recently?
[00:16:24] Speaker C: Um, like asking over and over that I want this and I want that.
[00:16:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:16:34] Speaker C: Like some really cool Lego sets that I actually do really want.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Right.
Persistence.
[00:16:40] Speaker C: That would make my life better.
[00:16:42] Speaker B: Well, that's your argument. Right. All right.
Where is it? Okay. Difficulty with change. So having difficulty going from one thing to another.
Yes.
[00:16:55] Speaker C: Especially for me, moving.
[00:16:57] Speaker A: Don't want to do it.
[00:16:58] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:16:58] Speaker B: Right.
[00:16:58] Speaker C: For me, moving, that is something that I do not want to do. Moving here was horrible.
[00:17:03] Speaker B: Really?
[00:17:04] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:17:04] Speaker A: Why?
[00:17:05] Speaker C: Or until I got used to it.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:17:09] Speaker C: But, like, moving. Right.
But, like, moving right now is like, at this point, I'll just stick with you and I'll let you go.
[00:17:23] Speaker B: Let me.
I don't want to say bye bye. Yeah. I mean, but that's a big. It's a big thing, so. So I get that, you know, I'm not ready for you to move either, so.
All right, here's one.
Difficulty organizing things. Are you organized?
Nope.
[00:17:49] Speaker C: I kind of put my pencils in this pocket, and then I leave all my other pencils in some random pocket on all my markers and random pockets.
[00:17:56] Speaker A: Right?
[00:17:56] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:17:57] Speaker C: Although I do keep all my notebooks stuff in one pocket.
[00:18:00] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:18:01] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:18:01] Speaker C: That. That's one organization.
[00:18:03] Speaker A: You're, like, semi organized, and I do.
[00:18:05] Speaker C: Not use the agenda. Yeah, I despise that thing.
[00:18:08] Speaker B: Why?
[00:18:10] Speaker C: Because I don't want to be like, all right, let's grab this thing out.
[00:18:14] Speaker A: Right?
[00:18:14] Speaker C: Like, I'd rather it be something that you grab out when you actually use it for the entire day.
[00:18:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:19] Speaker B: Yeah, that makes sense. Well, you got to find your own system, right?
[00:18:22] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:18:24] Speaker B: Okay, let's see. Here's one.
Having a hard time getting along with others.
Yes. Yes, yes.
Why do you think that is, though? I mean, I think you're awesome.
[00:18:39] Speaker C: Mmm. Just sometimes when it gets into an argument, it, like, escalates really quickly with me or something like that.
[00:18:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: I know.
[00:18:48] Speaker B: I mean. Yeah.
[00:18:49] Speaker C: Speaking of which, this ADHD is thing is actually making me very emotional.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: Really?
[00:18:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:18:54] Speaker B: How so? Just with arguments or with crying or.
[00:18:58] Speaker C: Like, when I first heard that we were gonna move, I literally went straight to my bed and cried.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, but that's kind of a normal reaction to, you know.
[00:19:07] Speaker C: Yeah, but.
[00:19:08] Speaker B: But, yeah.
[00:19:09] Speaker C: Like, other, like, random, simple things.
Like, it just touches a specific part in me.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Um, I'm a crier myself, and I cry when I'm angry. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm laughing. It's just like, I can't help it, you know?
Don't you dare put heat on my seat.
Sometimes I ban Alex from the front seat because there's too many buttons.
[00:19:42] Speaker C: Yeah.
You shall get less cool.
[00:19:46] Speaker B: Right. I know. Oh, and then the last one. Excessive talking. Have you ever gotten in trouble, like, in school for talking too much?
[00:19:58] Speaker C: Hmm, sometimes.
[00:20:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:01] Speaker C: But usually it's something that, like, I'm doing with somebody or something like that.
[00:20:05] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:20:06] Speaker C: Like, I bugged them a lot or something like that.
[00:20:08] Speaker B: Because you're talking to so much or.
[00:20:10] Speaker C: Just taking the pencil.
[00:20:12] Speaker B: Right. Impulsivity.
And you're. I know you're a really good student, so some of this doesn't affect your schoolwork, right?
[00:20:21] Speaker C: I was in honor of math, and I got a c. And yet in 7th grade, bad, I also got a.
[00:20:26] Speaker B: C. Yeah, I know. Who knows what?
[00:20:28] Speaker C: Some of that, of course, in English. This is very understandable.
[00:20:31] Speaker B: I have a c. Really?
[00:20:32] Speaker C: Because I suck at English.
[00:20:34] Speaker B: Why?
[00:20:35] Speaker C: Because English is not my topic.
[00:20:38] Speaker B: I know, but it's just writing and reading right now.
[00:20:41] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. Writing and reading. I don't want to be like.
[00:20:46] Speaker B: Well, you're stuck with it for a while, so.
All right, so I just have a couple of questions for you. Ready?
[00:20:52] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:20:53] Speaker B: And this is great. You're amazing. So when you. I know you've been on meds, and sometimes you're off meds. Can you tell a difference when you're on medication? Yes. And you said it feels like you're more normal.
[00:21:05] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. Especially with the, like, the extensive release. It, like, actually lasts the entire day.
[00:21:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:21:12] Speaker C: You don't like when the normal stuff you get through, like, noontime, and then you're like, yeah, yeah.
[00:21:19] Speaker B: Do you feel, like, numb at all? Do you feel, like, tired? Or is it just kind of a.
[00:21:24] Speaker C: Leveling tired and I don't eat anything.
[00:21:28] Speaker B: Yes, I know.
That's one thing about wifi in this car.
I don't know what this car does.
Okay, last one. So let's talk about the good and the bad.
What are, do you think, in Alex Payne's idea, what are some disadvantages of having ADHD?
[00:21:55] Speaker C: Kind of just being a normal child.
[00:21:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:59] Speaker C: Like, you don't get to be a normal child unless if they make some new, like, shot that makes you into a normal child.
[00:22:09] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard.
Okay, we're gonna end on this one. What are advantages of having ADHD?
[00:22:20] Speaker C: I mean, for some reason, I feel like it just makes me, like, sort of smarter.
[00:22:27] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:27] Speaker C: For some reason.
And it makes me tired.
[00:22:36] Speaker B: Well, I think one thing that's cool.
[00:22:39] Speaker A: That I've noticed, having known you now.
[00:22:41] Speaker B: For a while, as he eats my air conditioner.
[00:22:46] Speaker C: So cool.
I'm bathing.
[00:22:52] Speaker B: But you have a lot of interest. Like, you have a lot of. You're interested in a lot of things. You're curious about things which can be, like, a hyper focus. Right. And Alex has the best laugh and smile ever.
Yeah. He's a silly girl. But you light up, and I think that's one of your superpowers. So. All right, any final words on this lovely ADHD?
[00:23:23] Speaker C: I am sigma.
[00:23:25] Speaker B: Your sigma.
[00:23:26] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:23:26] Speaker B: What's that?
[00:23:27] Speaker C: I don't know. Search it up.
[00:23:30] Speaker B: You are a lovable weirdo. All right, well, thank you, Alex. I appreciate it. You did a really good job.
[00:23:37] Speaker C: Okay, now you can.
[00:23:55] Speaker A: Welcome back to 45 left to right podcast. I hope you enjoyed my interview with Alex. He is a dear friend to Devin, and they're moving in about a month and we are going to miss him a lot. He brings a lot of excitement, joy to our house when he's here. And I appreciate his, I guess, awareness of his ADHD and how it affects him and his daily life. So I want to shift into some research about ADHD and I'm just going to start first with some basic information.
The first article that I found is from the Nemours hospital and I have the website. It's just kind of a general, you know, bit of information, and it was medically reviewed by Sharon Hasan, MD. So ADHD is a real thing, I've heard. You know, I mean, I think it's a more accepted thing now that it is a real thing, but in the past there's been this, oh, well, it's not a real thing, you know, your child has just misbehaved or you're just putting a label on a kid that's out of control. But they've done a lot of research on it and, yes, it is a real thing. And a person with ADHD has differences in their brain development and their brain activity.
And I actually have a future interview with an expert that talks a little bit about that and what's going on in the brain, and I'm going to let him do that. A little teaser for another episode.
People with ADHD, they have trouble with their attention span, for sure, with sitting still sometimes and having self control for a child in particular sometimes, and this is not always the case, but sometimes they have a hard time completing their work at school, they have trouble with their relationships at home, making friends. You know, Alex said that's something that he has really struggled with, is making friends and relating to other kids.
That's always a struggle for him. Now, some of these, like the attention span and the sitting still, that's the more stereotypical idea of ADHD, and that's definitely a trait, but it doesn't always come out that way. So, again, we'll talk about that more in the future.
So there are three main traits of kids that have ADHD. There is inattentive. They have trouble focusing, they have trouble concentrating and staying on task.
They might have trouble paying attention to details. It might make mistakes because of that, and they may not complete things.
They might daydream, dawdle or seem forgetful. And this actually shows up a lot of in girls for a lot of different reasons.
Another trait that I think is, again, like, kind of what you think of when you think of ADHD is hyperactivity, but it isn't just they have a lot of energy, and they run around. It's that they're fidgety and restless, easily bored, especially when it's something they do not want to do. They're wiggly.
But another thing is they also cannot stay quiet when they need to. They interrupt. They may roughhouse and act up and disrupt others. And this is definitely a trait that's more stereotypical. And usually, you know, boys kind of have this. And it's actually why boys are diagnosed with ADHD more than girls, because they can be more disruptive in a class. And the teacher's like, wow, something's going on here. And they notice it because it fits the stereotype I'll talk about in another episode. Girls have different traits there.
You know, daydream, maybe, or are deemed, like, flighty, but they're not necessarily disruptive in a classroom. And so it's not noticed. But again, there'll be lots of information coming up in future episodes. All right, the third trait is that they are impulsive. They act without thinking. They have a hard time thinking in the future, they might, again, interrupt. They might push or grab.
They might just not want to wait for things. And Alex mentioned that he definitely has that trait of impulsivity. He's been at our house a lot, and we spend a lot of time with him. And I've noticed that to be the case, just not really thinking, you know, before doing some things. So I think it's amazing that he has the self awareness to notice that about himself. He's only twelve years old, so very impressive. But also part of the impulsivity is they might have, like, exaggerated reactions to routine things. Like, I didn't get the bag of chips that I wanted and might be really, really angry about it. Or I've seen even. And this isn't just with Alex, but boys with ADHD, or the boys at my house with ADHD, they might cry over something. You're like, why are you crying about that? And it's just part of being impulsive.
So these. All those things you might think, well, this is what a lot of children have trouble with sometimes, but kids with ADHD usually. So children generally, as they get older, kind of learn to recognize these things or learn to control these things. But kids with ADHD don't develop these skills until much later.
I've heard it can be between three and five years. They're kind of stunted three to five years behind. So that's another thing that can be noticed. And a lot of times it's in school just because they're at school for a long time and that can be noticed in school in particular.
So they need more help learning self control.
So these are three traits that can be seen in ADHD. And when it becomes an issue is when it impacts them at home, with friends or at school, you know, when it's interfering with their performance or their ability to make friends or that sort of thing, then they might have ADHD.
The next bit of research, or just information I found is from the CDC and it's just an informational page website. It's not like an official article, but it had some different information from the nemours. So ADHD is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders of childhood.
And symptoms usually start in childhood and often last into adulthood, and it actually changes. It's not always the same traits that you had as a child.
Those traits don't necessarily show up the same way in adulthood. And this is kind of. I went over this a little bit, but before. But there are basically three different ways that ADHD presents itself, or like, can be identified as a type. And this is just depending on what types of symptoms are strongest, like, in the person, when they're diagnosed. So the first is a predominantly inattentive presentation.
This can just be noticing, they just have an attention span issue, but also just aren't necessarily the very hyperactive person.
Maybe inattentive is like more withdrawn, but also can be seen as flighty or forgetful, that sort of thing. And then the second is predominantly a hyperactive, impulsive presentation. And this is what most people, including me, before I did all this research, most people think ADHD is the. I mean, honestly, it's usually the, you know, hyperactive boy in class that's running around, that's disrupting class, that's talking too much, that's rough housing, maybe is not interested in school just because, you know, they're really just fidgety. And this is what most people consider to be ADHD. And definitely it is a type, but it's not all the types. And then third is a combined presentation. They have kind of both the inattentive and the hyperactive and impulsive symptoms.
Now, there are a few risk factors in sort of someone developing ADHD or having ADHD.
There are factors like being exposed to toxins or drug, alcohol or tobacco use during pregnancy.
So those kind of environmental factors, and it can be inherited. Now, this doesn't mean that a person who have ADHD has these things, like, is caused by these things, but they can contribute to it. Another one is if a child has had a head injury, that can definitely spark it. And family home life is a very big factor as well. Whether it's the family home life is supportive in helping the kid, especially with ADHD, or the family home life is not helping kid with ADHD. And I will also do a series or part of this series will be about adults, but right now we're just talking about kids.
Now, this is, according to the CDC, ADHD is not caused by too much screen time, poor parenting, or eating too much sugar. So that's what it says anecdotally and other research says otherwise, in particular screen time. I guess maybe it doesn't cause it the root cause, but it absolutely does not help. So whether, again, there's a lot of controversy about this, but it doesn't help. We'll just say that none of those things help ADHD.
So how is ADHD diagnosed?
There's no one test to diagnose ADHD, but if a child has anxiety, depression, insomnia, and maybe some learning disabilities, ADHD can be missed or misdiagnosed because ADHD in children can show up as these things, especially the anxiety. So it's not always again, like that hyperactive kid. It can, you know, maybe the child has been diagnosed with other mental health issues and or also maybe has a learning disability.
ADHD can be missed and, you know, when they're misdiagnosed, they're not getting the right treatment, they're not being like, parented, I guess, in the right way, maybe at home, and it can make it worse.
Now, ADHD part of the diagnosis does involve a medical exam, and it includes hearing and vision tests, which, you know, kind of rules out the hearing and vision, especially if a child is having trouble at school with their academic performance.
Usually there is a checklist that, like, your pediatrician will give you and you rate their symptoms of ADHD.
Usually the checklist is performed or like, filled out by the parents of, and also the checklist is filled out at the school by their teacher. And then if the child is old enough and aware, like our twelve year old Alex is, then they fill out a checklist, you know, about their symptoms. Now, we had a suspicion that Devin might have ADHD, you know, kind of back in the fourth and fifth grade for various reasons. And we were given that checklist by the pediatrician and gave it to the teacher, and we do not think he does have ADHD. But, you know, the checklist is long and extensive. And, you know, we thought it was an interesting way of looking into his symptoms. So. So there's a little bit of information about ADHD. And next I'm going to be talking about ADHD in boys. But first, we'll take a little break.
Welcome back to 45 left or right podcast. So in this next section, I'm going to talk specifically about ADHD in boys.
Now, these traits, it's not necessarily that these traits only show up in boys and not girls. There's a lot of crossover, but this is just kind of your more standard traits that show up in boys. This first bit of research here, first article is from addictudemag.com.
great resource. Lots of like leading experts on ADHD contribute to this online magazine. So I highly recommend it and I will link it on my website.
All right, so this article is called the top ten manifestations of ADHD in boys. This is by Ryan Wexelblatt. And this was written or it says. Updated on September 20, 2022 and so a lot of people, when they think of ADHD, they think of how it presents generally in boys the hyperactivity and impulsivity. It's the boy in the classroom that's running around, can't stay seated, interrupt the class, that sort of thing. Now, the boys do that that don't have ADHD. I remember being, you know, like Devin's age, ten to twelve, and the boys could not stay seated. And they were always loud and they were hitting each other and it drove me crazy. Now, it doesn't mean that all of those boys had ADHD. It is, though, when the boy is doing it all the time and maybe can't stay seated even when corrected or reprimanded.
So just want to preface that now. So there's several traits that they talk about. The first one is difficulty with self directed talk. So when someone has ADHD, they're not always hearing that internal dialogue. Or this article kind of calls it the brain coach, that inner voice. They have a hard time recognizing that the second one is hyper focusing on things that are interesting to them and having a hard time sustaining attention on things that are not interesting to them. So if your son focuses on, let's say, dinosaurs, and they know everything that there is to know about dinosaurs, but Mamie in the classroom is not interested in roman history, that could be a sign.
But, you know, I also think that hyper focus, even though it's not, did they need to learn other topics just talking about in school, it could actually lead to greater things in their lives, too. So I don't know. I don't always want to. I don't always think you should discourage the hyper focus, but they do need to learn to embrace other topics that aren't interesting to them.
For Devon, and again, I don't think he has ADHD, but he currently, he does tend to hyperfocus.
Currently he is hyper focused on cars. He actually helped us, he did all the research to help us pick out a car. And while maybe in other kids that could be just a cute thing to help them stay engaged, with you buying a car, he did a really good job and he narrowed it down to four cars that fit our specifications. And we ended up getting a car based on his recommendations because he knows a lot about cars and he also is hyper focused right now on urban planning because he found a game online that's kind of like Sim City but way more advanced called city skylines. So when we're driving, he knows all the different traffic circles and what they're called and intersections. And that is very interesting to him. And certainly his interest will change as he gets older. He does tend to bounce between topics. Cars will never die, though. He has loved them. He's loved those hot wheels since he was about two years old. And that's grown into a car fascination at a minimum. Okay, so number three is a weak episodic memory. So kids with ADHD have difficulty remembering past experiences and the emotions associated with those past experiences, whether it's a negative emotion or a positive emotion. And I hate to use negative and positive, but you know what I mean. Number four, poor future thinking skills. They live in the present. That is where the impulsivity comes out, comes from. And also it means, let's say if you as a parent, try to reward them too far in the future, it's not going to work. So if you would say, okay, if you maybe don't get a behavior report for the whole week, you'll get ice cream on Friday. That's way too long for them to make that a worthy reward. It's not going to work. So you have to split things down, maybe into smaller goals with smaller rewards or just have the reward in a shorter time period. I didn't know that.
Number five, difficulty sensing the passage of time.
So if you have a kid with ADHD, they will spend more time arguing about something not, you know, about not wanting to do something that you have asked them to do, then it would have taken for them to actually do the task in the first place. And if you don't have, well, as a parent, you don't understand this. You're thinking, why are you arguing. You could be done with this by now, and it's infuriating.
Well, they're doing this because they have a hard time conceptualizing how much time is required to do the thing that you don't want them to do, or they have a hard time conceptualizing how long they have been arguing with you for.
And there's my expert that I'm talking with for next week's episode. He talks about how kids with ADHD, or people with ADHD get sort of a lot of stimulation from, let's say, you arguing with them. So even though it doesn't make sense, you're basically kind of rewarding them by arguing with them. So that's a whole other thing that we'll talk about next episode. Number six, inconsistent situational awareness.
They cannot read the room. They have a hard time picking out maybe the, like, emotional atmosphere of the room, reading body language, that sort of thing, which is why they tend to have a hard time making friends or keeping friends, too.
Number seven, poor perspective taking skills.
They have a hard time reading social cues. Maybe can't understand another person's thoughts and feelings or also can't understand how they come across to others. Let's say maybe they come off as blunt. They don't see that they are blunt, that sort of thing.
Number eight, trouble putting problem size into relevant context.
So an overreaction or an under reaction.
You know, this is sort of a small example, but sometimes in sports, and I've seen it a lot in Devon playing baseball, he also has done this. But there are some kids who maybe, let's say they made an error on a play, or one of their teammates made an error on a play, they flip out, throw their glove, yell at their teammate, yell at themselves, just maybe even cry, make a big scene. Now, you might think, oh, my gosh, what is wrong? Why are they acting that way? Well, it could just be a symptom of ADHD and not having that, you know, sense of perspective.
All right, number nine, difficulty with an unexpected change. So mostly in this is going from what they say, a preferred task to a non preferred task. So, hey, I want you to stop playing with your legos and go wash your hands for dinner. Well, they don't want to stop playing with their legos. They don't want to wash their hands for getting ready for dinner. Maybe that's boring to them or they just don't want to. They have a very hard time just transitioning from one to the other.
I know this could be a very common one, being asked to get off the computer to go do homework and do a chore. No, they don't want to do that. So I have a few boys that come over to my house all the time, which I love, and a few of them have ADHD, kind of a certain diagnosis. And to get them from playing tennis, baseball in the cul de sac to going home is at least an infuriating ten to 15 minutes process. It drives me crazy, but it's just kind of part of how they think, you know, that they're like, they don't want to do that. So they won't until you threaten them with death.
Just kidding. I wouldn't do that. All right, number ten, rejection sensitive dysphoria. So people with ADHD are very responsive to praise and recognition when it is purposeful and helps a child recognize their strengths in themselves, not when it is empty. They're very sensitive to that.
So the recommendation here is give your son recognition for things that require effort.
Wow, you worked so hard. Like, you went to all of these clinics to, you know, beef to do, let's say, play catcher on the team. That was your goal. You put the work in. Wow, that's incredible. They respond a lot to that. All right, so I'm going to take a break because I hear the puppy stirring in her crate, and I'll be back with just a little bit more information.
Welcome back to 45, left to right podcast. I believe Luna the puppy is napping now, and so I'm gonna continue on. She has been a total nightmare today, so I am glad she's sleeping.
So this next section, I'm gonna talk about boys with ADHD and what happens when they go through puberty. The first article is boys to men when ADHD and puberty collide. And this is written by Larry Silver, MD and updated on May 26, 2020.
This is from that same amazing resource, additudemag.com or additudemag.com.
so really a great resource.
Now, I remember when Devin was two and everyone started telling me the horror stories of having a toddler. Oh, you think two is bad? Wait till he's three. You think three is bad? Wait until he's four. And now I have a son who is twelve, on the verge of puberty. And all the horror stories are starting. My kid's personality changed and their behavior changed and all of this stuff. Am I still a little scared? Yes. But I also remember that that is just how people talk. They want to psych you out. Well, imagine if you are a parent with a son who has ADHD oh, my gosh. How is puberty going to affect him in all of the thoughts? So, according to this article, boys or teens with ADHD don't seem to have any more difficulty coping with puberty than other kids who do not have ADHD. Now, they still have their specific and particular problems and stresses that they have that might be related to their ADHD. But you know what? Other boys, teens also have different issues. So kids with ADHD are going to go through the usual changes, then they're going to have other changes related to their ADHD.
Some mature early, you know, even before puberty, and others mature after puberty.
So here are some ways that boys with ADHD can change.
If your son is on medication, he could start refusing to take his medicine. And this is why a lot of kids who are on ADHD have to go to the nurse's office during the day to take some medicine. And in doing that, they're drawing attention to themselves. Oh, you know, you have to go to the nurse's office. Well, why are you doing that? What's going on? La la? You know it. When you're a teenager, you do not want any extra attention on yourself. So they might say, nope, I'm not doing that anymore.
One big one is peer pressure, because boys with ADHD sometimes don't have the best social skills or just generally have a hard time making friends. They might join any group that accepts them. So that could be a good group, but that could also be one, a group with negative influences. And then, you know, some kids with ADHD just have poor social skills, and that can lead to bad decisions and just being influenced easily by this peer group.
So another one is a lack of supervision. Now, I know when I think about poorly supervised teenagers, I think of them, you know, sneaking out of the house at night and causing trouble while their parents are asleep. But the most dangerous time is actually the hours of three to 06:00 p.m. because they're coming home from school. They are old enough to come home from school by themselves, and their parents aren't home because they're working or doing other things. So that's a lot of time that they have on their own to maybe make poor decisions. So the recommendation from Doctor Silver is to get them involved with after school activities. And that is actually a recommendation anyway, to help kids with ADHD, to get them involved in sports or different clubs, because it teaches them how to relate better to other kids.
So I'm actually going to talk to Michael McCloud from Grownow ADHD in a future episode about this. He's got lots of parenting tips for, you know, if you have kids with ADHD, so stay tuned for that. But back on this, the good news, according to Doctor Silver, is that half of the kids with ADHD improve significantly after puberty. They may even no longer need medication.
The rest, the other 50%, will probably need medication through their teens and possibly into adulthood. But a lot of the kids actually see an improvement in symptoms or, you know, honestly might learn really good coping techniques as well.
Welcome back to 45 left or right podcast. I hope you enjoyed this first episode about ADHD. ADHD in Boysenheid I have a few more planned episodes in this series about ADHD. I've got ADHD in girls, where I interview my friend Amy, whose daughter was just diagnosed with ADHD, parenting kids with ADHD, where I talk to Michael McLeod from Grownow, ADHD in the ADHD guys podcast and then ADHD in Women and in Mendez. How many times in one paragraph can I say ADHD?
Now? I haven't decided the timing on the women and men with ADHD quite yet, but stay tuned.
I am available on both Facebook and Instagram at 45 left or right podcast, and then I have a website with additional content that you can check out. Thanks so much for listening today and bye for now.
