Episode Transcript
[00:00:21] Speaker A: Hello and welcome to 45 Left or Right podcast. It is episode six, Play Ball.
Today we're going to talk about sports, parenting, and also, you know, having your kids playing sports and what that is like. So I want to start with a story.
So when Devin was four, we registered him for T ball.
He was completely oblivious, like most tee ballers, and complete with the stereotype of picking daisies in the outfield. And he also enjoyed throwing dirt.
I will never forget his first at bat. He stood there with his jersey that went down to his knees and pants that needed a very tight belt to stay up. He. He actually only just outgrew that shirt. He has worn it since he was four.
His batting helmet flopped from side to side, and he held his aluminum bat, like, very awkwardly on his shoulder. It's like he knew he had to hold it somewhere around there, but not really sure how to do it.
Let me tell you, those T ball coaches, they are very brave to stand near. I mean, they're essentially toddlers who are holding aluminum bats and who know they're supposed to swing at some point, but they don't know when.
So Devin, you know, the ball's on the tee. Devin swings, flings the bat, and he does hit the ball on the first swing, though. It just kind of trickles forward and it doesn't even go fair. So the coach puts the ball on the tee again, and Devin gives it another big swing.
This time, the ball stays fair, but instead of running to first base like he should, Devin runs toward the ball, bat still in hand, and then he tries to hit it like he's playing field hockey. And everyone is yelling, run. Run to first base. But Devin is much more interested in getting the ball back from the pitcher, who was much more aware of what was going on. Eventually, Devin is tagged out. But in all of the confusion of Devin trying to play field hockey during a baseball game, a runner scores.
So does that count as a rather distracted rbi? Maybe.
I absolutely laughed my ass off. It was so cute. And so Devin.
The only stress in watching T ball, though, for me, was worrying about the coaches, who were in imminent danger with every kid that came up to bat.
So it was super cute. But if you've watched tee ball for any length of time, you'll know it eventually gets kind of boring because nothing goes on.
So now Devin is almost 12, and he plays a lot of sports, including baseball. He plays soccer in the fall. He skis in the winter. He does baseball in the spring. He does mountain biking at his school. He does parkour and he recently started jiu jitsu.
Now he actually specifically asked for summers off, which is a big relief for all of us. And honestly, I was proud of him for recognizing I need a break.
Because we all need a break from the structures and requirements of competitive sports. Though, you know, our summers are still very active. So this episode I have a very special guest. My friend Nicole, who I met through baseball. And also she's one of my closest friends. Her son Aiden and Devin played baseball on the same team for two seasons and then they played against each other for one season. So we have a lot of time in our sports chairs together.
Now some people call these sports chairs camping chairs, but ours, you know, mostly sit while watching practices or games in the cold, in the rain, in the wind, or the blazing heat. So we're going to talk about how to manage the chaos of having your kids in multiple sports, how to handle your kids emotions under pressure, the value of playing sports, and then really finding balance for your kids. So I hope you enjoy this interview. Thanks.
[00:06:14] Speaker B: All right, welcome to 45 left or right podcast. Today we're going to be talking about being a sports parent and I am here at our local baseball field on field five, which is where my son.
[00:06:30] Speaker A: Plays, our sons plays, and I am.
[00:06:33] Speaker B: Here with my favorite baseball mom, Nicole, and we're going to talk about that. So hello, Nicole.
[00:06:41] Speaker C: Hi.
[00:06:43] Speaker B: All right, so I've got a few.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: Questions for Nicole that I now have lost.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: There we go.
Okay, so tell me, who are you and who are your children?
[00:06:58] Speaker C: Okay, so I'm Nicole. I am a fellow baseball parent.
I have two boys who are in lots of sports. Yes, that's true. I have an 11 year old Aiden and a 9 year old Chael and they do multiple things all the time.
[00:07:17] Speaker B: What sports are they playing now?
[00:07:20] Speaker C: So right now Aiden is on two different baseball teams. He does little league and he does a travel baseball team. And Chael does hopkito, which is a form of martial arts. And he also does little league and sometimes they also throw soccer in there for a change up.
[00:07:36] Speaker B: Why not? Why not? I have been to a few of Chella's belt tests and he is really good and he does so well.
[00:07:44] Speaker C: He's focused, he loves the belt test. Practicing, not so much.
[00:07:49] Speaker B: Isn't that how it is? Always right. They don't like to practice, they just.
[00:07:52] Speaker A: Want to play games all the time.
[00:07:55] Speaker B: So Tommy, what does a typical week look like for you?
[00:08:00] Speaker C: A typical week for us is just chaos. It really truly is. It's hop ketos two days a Week. And then literally we play baseball six or seven days a week with the multiple teams. It's okay, drop this kid off here. Turn around and go pick up this kid. Drop off that kid there. Which one's the husband going to to coach? Because he also helps coach. So it's just this big board of pieces that are constantly moving.
I color coded my schedule.
[00:08:29] Speaker A: You did?
[00:08:30] Speaker B: It's impressive. She shows it to me and I'm like, wow. But you have to have a system.
[00:08:38] Speaker C: I do. I really do. And yesterday with my schedule, Jeff decided to add something to it. And his colors are different than my colors. So I kind of told him he wasn't allowed to do that anymore.
[00:08:50] Speaker B: Don't mess with this. Don't touch it.
[00:08:52] Speaker C: Do whatever you want with yours. Do not mess with mine. Because his red meant something different than my red. And I was like, then I will never know where I'm going, so just don't.
[00:09:02] Speaker B: Or at least have your own separate colors. Right?
[00:09:04] Speaker C: His calendar can look whatever color like, right? My, my calendar took up all the color options.
[00:09:10] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:09:10] Speaker B: There's only so many.
[00:09:11] Speaker C: There's only so many. And like two of the greens were the same color, green. So like all the colors are used now.
[00:09:18] Speaker B: What's the day? There's one day where you have, you do have to like drop chill off at have keto and then come back. What day is that? Tuesday.
[00:09:25] Speaker C: I think it's usually. Yeah, it's Tuesdays.
[00:09:28] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:09:29] Speaker C: If he goes to hop keto on Tuesdays because if he has a game on Mondays, he has to go to hop keto on Tuesdays to get our two days in. And then I do, I drop Aiden off at one practice and then I zip down to chills and then I wait down there for 45 minutes and I come back up here to get Aiden. And sometimes we even have to take Aiden to a second practice after.
[00:09:46] Speaker A: Oh my Lord.
[00:09:48] Speaker B: For the record, Aiden plays travel ball. Um, he's older, he's really good. He's always the lead off runner and he gets on base a lot. I'm not gonna say every time. Cause I don't wanna change that, but. And then you have Chael who likes the sports sometimes.
[00:10:05] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:10:06] Speaker B: So you have two kids on either spectrum.
[00:10:08] Speaker C: Yeah, very different children. But Chael is actually really good when you get him focused and like zeroed in on something. But when you have him do anything where he can remotely veer off, he is gone. Like baseball and you cannot get him back.
[00:10:24] Speaker B: That's true. He gets a look in his eye.
[00:10:26] Speaker C: He's just like. And I'm done with this. I don't need to do this.
[00:10:28] Speaker B: I'm not doing this anymore. I know. Devin's the same way. I wasn't sure Devin was. It was going to work out for baseball, you know, because he want. He's very active, as you know. He's always frenetically moving.
[00:10:42] Speaker C: And baseball is very boring for kids like that. Yeah, yeah, very boring.
[00:10:45] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:10:46] Speaker C: Till you get to the biggers. But even then, they stand around a lot.
[00:10:49] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, a lot. Yeah, exactly. Dad was like, I want to play catcher. And I'm like, why would you want to play catcher? He's like, because I'm involved in every play. I'm like, that's good.
[00:10:58] Speaker A: But you're involved in every play.
[00:11:00] Speaker B: You have to focus every play. Yep.
[00:11:02] Speaker C: But it is good for that because chill's also really good at catcher.
[00:11:05] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:05] Speaker C: Because they're constantly moving and they have a purpose.
[00:11:08] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Oh, he loves it.
[00:11:10] Speaker C: He.
[00:11:10] Speaker B: I mean, he needs to work on it, but, you know, he's doing pretty well. Yes. Nicole and I also bond as catchers. Moms. You know, I didn't know how nerve wracking it is when your child is getting terrifying pelted every single pitch. And if they make a mistake, runners.
[00:11:30] Speaker C: Go and coaches are yelling. Nobody knows what's going on. It's amazing.
[00:11:35] Speaker B: And you can see your child shutting down or just both of our boys are very emotional.
Big feelings.
[00:11:46] Speaker C: Big feelings.
[00:11:47] Speaker B: And so when really big feelings. Oh, really big feelings. And I remember earlier this season, Aiden was pitching and Devin was catching and it was not a good combo.
[00:11:57] Speaker C: It was not. Because Aiden is wild and Devin hasn't had the experience. Has a wild pitcher.
[00:12:02] Speaker B: That's a nice way to say it. Yes. And Aiden was getting mad at Devin and we're like, oh, but not a good choice. They're fine after. They're fine after. They're great.
[00:12:13] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:14] Speaker B: Ironically, the coach puts Devin with the wildest and fastest pitcher, but five. Okay. You know, we'll see. Okay, so if your sons one day decide they do not want to play sports, what will you miss?
[00:12:32] Speaker C: Okay, so I love organized sports for so many reasons.
There's so much about them. The teamwork, the getting through adversity, how to handle negative situations and try to turn it around in a positive way.
I will miss, though, just being out here to cheer for them because really, that's what I'm here for. I love, and I love seeing all of their friends and because I also work in this area I love seeing my students, and so it's like a big family thing. Whenever we go places, it's, you know, the high fives. I'm like, oh, how did your game go today? I get to have so many of those experiences with it, and I'm going to really miss that. But I know that my children are highly competitive, so most likely, even if they stop playing baseball or soccer, they're going to do something else that I'll get to just enjoy watching them do, because that's, you know, part of being a parent is helping your children go. Go to things, driving them from point A to point B. But I'm going to miss. I know it's going to happen one day where they're not going to want to, and I'm going to miss that. Yeah, but am I going to miss driving all the time and my car smelling like nasty baseball bag? Probably not, right?
[00:13:46] Speaker B: I know, but you never know. I know that I. For Devin, you know, I love baseball the best for a lot of reasons. The parents. I'm social. Right. So I like. I like the parents a lot.
Soccer parents, you know, they're different. They're different.
[00:14:05] Speaker C: They're a different breed of dog.
[00:14:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:06] Speaker B: They don't necessarily want to talk or whatever. Find their prerogative. But. But, you know, I know one day he won't want to play baseball anymore, and.
But I have to look at it as he's gonna find something else. You know, I've always said about Devin, he's gonna find something non traditional, and I'll enjoy that and cheer him on.
[00:14:28] Speaker C: And, you know, when the boys were doing, like, the ninja stuff that's in, like, the parkour.
[00:14:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:34] Speaker C: I was like, this is really cool. It's really weird and it's different, but it's still, like, competitive and athletic, and my boys both love that.
[00:14:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:42] Speaker C: But I was like, they'll find something.
I mean, it might even be art. I don't know, but I know.
[00:14:49] Speaker A: I mean, you can't.
[00:14:50] Speaker B: You can root for them in art.
[00:14:52] Speaker C: But you know that picture.
[00:14:56] Speaker B: Well, you can go to their art shows, right. And say, oh, my God, that was so good.
[00:14:59] Speaker C: Or, you know, but walk around with, like, a bottle of something. Just look at this artist.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: This is amazing. This is my favorite. I'm going to buy this one. I know. Yeah, I know it's. But the. The lessons that you. They learn, that's. I think for me, I have to keep me centered on, you know, no matter what it's going to be. There are lessons that they're going to learn.
[00:15:27] Speaker C: Yeah. And that's. That's what I love about it. And team sports is so good at that because you have to. You have to work with different people every season. And I think that's amazing because you even have to do that. Even if they were to go pro, which I don't think my children will, but, you know, if they do, like, they have to work with different people, they have to work with different coaches. They have to have a different style every time they get a different person on their field or a different coach. And that works. Soccer, baseball, anything. They have to learn so many things and how to handle different things. And it's different every game.
[00:15:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:57] Speaker C: And every day.
[00:15:58] Speaker B: Yeah, it really is. I know Devin's definitely had some kids on teams that he just didn't vibe with, you know, but he's got to learn. Okay. You know.
[00:16:07] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:16:07] Speaker B: You got to deal with this kid, but you got to figure out how to work together. And, you know, it's sort of life.
I know when I was in the Army, I could always tell if somebody hadn't played team sports because they just. I don't know, there was something missing there. There was a team, you know, attitude that they didn't have. And eventually you learn it, you know. But is joining the army the way you want to learn it initially?
[00:16:38] Speaker C: Probably not. I always see it at school, too. And because sports, even if you're not the best, it gives you confidence. Like, I can at least do this a little bit. And so you can see the kids in school that don't play sports. And thinking back, like, when I was in school, too, you could tell those kids tended to have less friends, they had less energy. They were picked last for things. I was like, I never want my kids to be the best.
[00:17:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:03] Speaker C: But I don't want them to be the worst, either. I don't want them to be picked last because that's a horrible thing for your. For your overall mental health to be picked last. That's, like, horrific in school. So you see those kids that do play sports, even just remotely a little bit. Well, and then you see the kids that don't play anything, and they're the ones who are lethargic. And I don't want that for my kids. I want my kids to be happy, healthy, have friends, have, you know, good mental health. And team sports really does help that.
[00:17:30] Speaker B: Yeah, it does. I mean, my child is super social, as you know, and I think that's why he's liked baseball in particular, because he has that's where his core group of friends are. And, you know, he goes to school with one kid and they have each other's back, you know, in middle school. And it's so important because middle school is awful.
As we've learned on previous episodes, my.
[00:17:58] Speaker A: Son has had some issues in middle.
[00:18:00] Speaker B: School and handled them in interesting ways.
Well. Okay, so Chael does have keto. They both do soccer. Obviously. They both do baseball. They've done ninja in the past. What is your favorite sport?
[00:18:16] Speaker C: Honestly, for the reasons that you said before, I love the baseball families. Soccer families are interesting, and I don't really understand soccer.
[00:18:27] Speaker A: Yeah, me neither.
[00:18:28] Speaker C: I feel like every time I get halfway there, I just lose it. I think Aiden enjoys soccer more, so I like watching him do it. And I like that soccer doesn't stop every two seconds.
[00:18:39] Speaker B: Right.
[00:18:40] Speaker C: So I think I like watching soccer better than baseball, but I just like that he has more companionship in baseball.
Soccer's more like, okay, now we're going and we're done, and so we get to go home. Like baseball, I'm like, they have another one, another practice, another game. I know, Another inning, Right?
[00:19:01] Speaker B: Well, that's true.
[00:19:01] Speaker A: Are we. We're at the time limit.
[00:19:03] Speaker C: Yeah. I was like, wait hour 30. I'm done. I'm maxed. My nerves are shot. Right.
[00:19:09] Speaker B: I know. That's the thing. I think for me, baseball, just for Devin's sake, I like, because you get the team and you get the individual. They have the individual pressure, which sometimes is really hard, but they also have to work together as a team. You know, soccer, I feel like he can just kind of bop around.
[00:19:31] Speaker C: And it's true. Especially depending on the team in soccer, if they're not at the level that we're at still, everybody's still kind of like, all about themselves. They're still the ego centric.
[00:19:41] Speaker B: Oh, boy.
[00:19:42] Speaker C: So they're all like, I'm gonna go shoot this goal. I'm gonna kick the ball from halfway across the the field and see if I can make it in, like. And I'm just like, no. You have like, six teammates just standing there. Pick someone.
So I think maybe, like, upper levels of soccer would be better, but this one does. It has a little bit of both. It's not so heavily focused on a team. It still gives you that individual, which is good for them at this age.
[00:20:05] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, Aiden's 11, Devin's 11, almost 12.
And, you know, it's such a core time for them. You know, I just.
[00:20:19] Speaker A: I love baseball. I'm not Gonna hide it.
[00:20:21] Speaker B: And Jiu jitsu. But Devin isn't as into Jiu jitsu as I would like him to be.
I know, but, you know, it's a sport that you can do much older.
[00:20:33] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:20:33] Speaker B: And be more successful at, so that's okay. But I always say if he could.
[00:20:36] Speaker A: Figure out what to do with those.
[00:20:37] Speaker B: Long legs, he's gonna be unstoppable.
Okay, let's say you gave birth to two children who did not like sports.
It would be sad, right? It would. But what do you think they would do if they didn't do sports?
[00:20:57] Speaker C: See, I always told my kids, even, like, right now, one day, Aiden came to me and said, I don't want to play baseball anymore. And I was like, okay, that's great. You have a tournament today. After this, you can be done. And he seems to think that, like, if he didn't play a sport, he would just get to, like, sit at home and play on a video game all day. And I've always told him, like, that's not okay with me. You still have to do something.
[00:21:17] Speaker B: Right.
[00:21:17] Speaker C: So I don't. Like, even if they just played chess, I'd be perfectly fine as long as they have to do something that involves other humans and not being inside all day. And when I think of chess, I'm not really great at chess at all. But, like, I think of, like, the people in, like, Central Park, New York, and they have, like, the outdoor chess tables. I'm like, at least they can play chess outside and hit that little clock thingy.
[00:21:42] Speaker B: Right.
[00:21:42] Speaker C: I didn't realize that they only had a certain amount of time until the other day when my children were playing chess.
But it's like, that's what I think of. Like, they have to do something outside, even if it's just for a small period of time. You can paint, you can dance, you can play chess, you can play backgammon. I really don't care. But you have to do something that involves humans.
[00:21:59] Speaker A: Right.
[00:22:00] Speaker C: Other humans. And it has to be something that you can occasionally go outside with, read a book outside. I don't care.
[00:22:04] Speaker B: Right.
[00:22:05] Speaker C: But those are the two big things. But I do want them to be active, too.
[00:22:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:09] Speaker C: So it's kind of hard to, like, imagine my children not wanting to play a sport and be active.
[00:22:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, yeah.
[00:22:15] Speaker C: Because they just. They need to be healthy that way. They need to move. They need to be outside.
[00:22:20] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:22:21] Speaker C: Even when we're inside, like, yesterday, for way too long, I'm like, just be outside.
You can do whatever.
[00:22:28] Speaker B: Go.
[00:22:29] Speaker C: I can totally See, Chill. Being like a knight at medieval times, though. Like, just sword fighting with something. He loves sword fighting with anything. So I was like, he could be a knight at medieval times. That's fine with me. It involves other people.
[00:22:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:43] Speaker C: It's outside.
[00:22:44] Speaker B: Sometimes performative, you know, he can do it. Oh, yes. Jael was very upset that he doesn't get to use swords and hot keto till much later. Yeah.
[00:22:54] Speaker C: Till he's about. I think it was 13. He has to be 13. And he's. I think that's part of the reason why he's like, well, I don't want to do hot keto.
Go kick something. You're fine.
[00:23:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. He's really good at hopkit, though.
[00:23:06] Speaker C: He's really good. Yeah, he's really good.
[00:23:08] Speaker B: He's too. I was going to that first belt test. I'm like, look at him. Oh, my God, he's.
[00:23:14] Speaker C: Yep. He's really good. I love it. But that's like his thing.
[00:23:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:18] Speaker C: But the second you. Like I said, you let them off. They are gone.
[00:23:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:22] Speaker C: You give them two seconds of free time and they. They're done.
[00:23:25] Speaker B: Exactly. I know, Devin. You know, now the baseball is going. I. We're cutting Jiu Jitsu back to one day a week, and we haven't done it, you know, in a. In a couple of weeks because spring break and we were gone and all of that.
But I said. I told him the other day, I was like, listen, I want you to have one foot in the door with Jiu Jitsu because I don't want you. Well, I'd like. I want him to do it just because. For the self defense and just for lots of different reasons. I'll talk about Jiu Jitsu and a whole other episode, but I'm like, I just want you to keep your foot in the door with Jiu Jitsu. So you don't, you know. Well, honestly, I don't want him to completely lose interest. Yeah. But also, like, I don't want you to come this summer and realize all these kids that have been doing it the whole time are so much better than you because that really bothers you, you know?
[00:24:18] Speaker C: And that's. That's part of what we're doing. You have that burnout factor.
[00:24:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:22] Speaker C: And the burnout factor is real. I mean, we're currently dealing with it. We're not even in the middle of April. We still have two months of fall for just little League. And, you know, we have two teams and, you know, Aiden's getting. He doesn't Want to go to practice?
[00:24:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:37] Speaker C: He still enjoys it. He still likes going to the games. But he's at the point where. And then two years ago we did this too, where we just told him, okay, you can stop travel ball. But it took him over a year to get back in the shape of everybody else. To where now he's finally catching his groove again and he's doing well. But we're at the ages where if they stop playing that sport, they're not going to be able to catch back up because the natural talent is leaving and you're getting the skill based.
[00:25:05] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:06] Speaker C: And that's, you know, what happens when you're 11 and 12 years old. Aiden's naturally athletic. He's very lucky.
[00:25:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:11] Speaker C: He hasn't had to work for it, but now he's at that point where he's having to work, but all the other kids are working too. So if you stop, jiu jitsu is a little different. I mean, it'll take him time, but yeah, people get into it older.
[00:25:24] Speaker B: Yeah. I was 39, but it would take.
[00:25:29] Speaker C: You a lot to get to the level of those other people that have been doing it their whole life.
[00:25:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:34] Speaker C: So it's like you don't want them to burn out, but at the same time you're like, well, if you still. This is something you want to do, you still have to do something.
[00:25:41] Speaker B: Right.
[00:25:42] Speaker C: And it's just that hard. I want to push, but I don't want to push. If they really don't want to do it, I don't want to make them do it.
[00:25:49] Speaker B: Right.
[00:25:49] Speaker C: And it's that. That fun parent spot. Get stuck.
[00:25:55] Speaker B: God, you aren't joking. I know. And things are so competitive now.
Everything, everything.
[00:26:02] Speaker C: If you're not a single sport person, you're not going to make it.
[00:26:06] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[00:26:07] Speaker C: And I don't want my kid to be a single sport person. I want him to be able to go draw a picture on a Tuesday. I want him to play baseball or soccer or jiu jitsu.
[00:26:15] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:16] Speaker C: Or whatever. I want them to have that option. But if you want them to have the option of high school, even like high school.
[00:26:24] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
[00:26:25] Speaker C: To do it to me, like, high school is when people started playing the sport.
[00:26:28] Speaker A: I know.
[00:26:29] Speaker C: But now they're training football kids at age 6 and 5. And I'm like, kids didn't even know what a football was except on the TV until high school.
[00:26:38] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I know.
[00:26:39] Speaker C: But if you don't start at five, you're not going to be able to play.
[00:26:42] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[00:26:43] Speaker C: Sad.
[00:26:44] Speaker B: I know. I. I mean, I. I mean, granted, girls. Well, girls sports are really competitive, too, but I didn't start. I played volleyball, softball, and basketball in middle school and high school. I didn't start volleyball or basketball until the seventh grade, you know, but I was able to play all the way up until my senior year as a starter the whole time. And I was at a smaller school, so, like, there's opportunities for that. But it wasn't expected for me to have played.
[00:27:17] Speaker C: Baseball and soccer were the only two sports that you could play from a young age. And then, like, I know we had, like, rec football, too. Rec football's expensive. I just looked it up. It's like $1,000 for a kid to play, like, tackle football at the age of nine. Like, oh, my gosh. That's insane.
[00:27:34] Speaker B: That's insane.
[00:27:35] Speaker C: It's insane because they have to buy the pads and everything. But my little sister was really good in high school, but she didn't even start volleyball until high school till, like, ninth grade.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Volleyball's crazy.
[00:27:45] Speaker C: Yeah. And now it's like, you have travel teams, and these travel teams are doing this and they're doing that, and you play all year round. Like, you might get a couple weeks off a year. Yeah, I know we play that, but it's like, it's insane.
[00:28:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:00] Speaker C: Because I want my kid to be able to do whatever I don't want him to have to do only baseball. Because then I talked to so many parents because, you know, I work here.
[00:28:08] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:28:09] Speaker C: Lots of them, like, their kids stop playing before high school. Their kids, who are amazingly good. I have a really close friend. I've talked to her for forever, and her kid only did baseball, and he loved baseball. He played on, like, three teams. Even in high school, he played. He stopped playing for his freshman year, and he doesn't want to play baseball anymore. And she's like, well, I spent all this money.
[00:28:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:33] Speaker C: And I'm like, you do, but your kid has only played baseball.
[00:28:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:37] Speaker C: His whole life.
[00:28:38] Speaker B: Yeah. They want to branch out at some point, you know.
[00:28:41] Speaker C: Anything else?
[00:28:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:43] Speaker C: So sad.
[00:28:43] Speaker B: I know. I mean, Devin doesn't do as much as, say, Aiden does, but I really try to make sure when he is home and he doesn't have anything scheduled that he just chills, you know, like, right now he's home on his computer, which, you know, you got to balance that. That's a whole other issue. But he's deserved it or he's earned it because he. Man, he does baseball and mountain biking and jiu Jitsu. And then he goes to school, you know, And I'm like, just hang out. Just hang out with your friends, whatever, you know.
[00:29:21] Speaker C: And that's trying to schedule in friend time is hard because I'm like, I don't want anybody over at my house right now because I also need chill time.
[00:29:29] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:29:30] Speaker C: And then my kids once thought that Jill didn't want to play soccer because he thought he could just stay home and play his video games. And I was like, well, we don't play video games for six hours a night. Like we're not going to do that.
[00:29:42] Speaker B: No.
[00:29:42] Speaker C: But I mean they deserve to be able to play. Yeah, a little bit here and there. But on practice nights we can't play video games because we're, we're not even home till 9pm Exactly.
[00:29:52] Speaker B: I know, right? Yeah. Especially jail. Who? You said nine, right?
[00:29:57] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:29:57] Speaker B: And has practiced from eight to nine.
[00:30:00] Speaker C: Eight to nine.
[00:30:01] Speaker B: Which is ridiculous.
[00:30:02] Speaker C: And soccer, he got the same schedule. 7:30 to 9. And just like why is it always me who gets these crazy late practices for my 8 year old kid or my 9 year old kid?
[00:30:12] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. No, no.
[00:30:14] Speaker C: But it happens. He's fine. He's only slightly psycho the next day.
[00:30:18] Speaker B: Just a little bit. Well, he's used to it from soccer.
[00:30:21] Speaker C: It's just our life now. I just apologize to his teacher. I love you.
Deal with this demon.
[00:30:27] Speaker B: There you go.
Have fun with that. Yeah, I know, I know. And I can tell when Devin's done too much and burned out because he is even bigger feelings, you know, even more of a wreck. And it comes out in like just.
[00:30:43] Speaker C: Little things, you know, the emotions get hardcore for. I didn't get 16 pieces of cereal. I only got 13 or I got 17.
Like where are your shoes? I don't know. They're sitting right in front of your feet. Please just put them on.
We've gone school a couple times where I had to turn back around because we didn't have shoes. Even though they stepped over the shoes to get into the car.
What, what did. Chill, chill. Tried to go. I think he didn't put on pants one day. I noticed that one before we got in the car. Then can you like make sure you're dressed? The shoes I don't notice all the time because sometimes I'm like, just get in the car.
[00:31:19] Speaker B: Right? Yeah, exactly.
[00:31:21] Speaker C: But yeah, so we've had some interesting mornings because I also, I leave my house at 6:30 to get to work. So when we have late nights, it's a really early morning.
[00:31:29] Speaker B: Yeah. That's early.
Yay. Yay.
[00:31:33] Speaker C: A lot of the travel ball parents, I notice, homeschool, so they don't have that. A lot of the hardcore people, they go to like academy schools or online schools so their kids can sleep in a little bit and then do their still get their work done, obviously. But they have that leeway which a lot of our other types of working parent families don't count.
[00:31:53] Speaker B: You don't get to do that luxury. No, no, I know. I can't imagine that.
Yeah, I know. I mean, I'm grateful that the middle school here start later. Thank goodness. Sorry, elementary school. But because last year it was like, you know, just he was a mess, you know, and I understand sort of why they did that. But when you have sports and your kids are in all these activities and they end at nine and maybe they haven't had dinner or they need a snack before bed.
[00:32:23] Speaker C: Second dinner.
[00:32:24] Speaker A: Yeah, second dinner.
[00:32:25] Speaker B: They gotta take a shower even though they don't want to. You know, all of that.
[00:32:29] Speaker C: There are, there are a few nights, not very often that I'm just like, just skip the shower because I don't want to fight you getting in the shower and you can just be stinky tomorrow. Like that's fine. Maybe you'll get up early enough. I doubt it. Take a shower in the morning. But just, just go to bed.
[00:32:42] Speaker A: Just please.
[00:32:44] Speaker B: Rest is more important than hygiene right now.
[00:32:47] Speaker C: My sanity conversation that we're going to have about getting you in the shower.
[00:32:53] Speaker B: That's true. Oh my gosh. Well, I really appreciate you doing this. She. We're both on spring break, but she's really on spring break because she's a teacher. And you know, I. I appreciate it very much. Thank you. Yeah, this is fun. All right, thanks.
[00:33:28] Speaker A: Welcome back to 45 left or right podcast.
I want to go through some research and I will keep it brief, although I could totally geek out on this research, but I'm going to try to give a good overview.
So this is mostly from an organization called Project Play, and they are a nonprofit arm of the Aspen Institute. And this is their rather confusing description of who they are. Project Play connects the silos across the disjointed landscape of youth and school sports and develops systems level solutions.
So from what I can gather, they do a lot of research and then they use it to basically help inequalities in structured sports, whether it's ethnic inequalities, economic inequalities, gender. So they have pretty good information, but they rely a lot on research. So they got good Stuff. All right, so the first bit is 39.6% of kids age 6 to 17 played a team sport on a regular basis in 2022. And the way they describe, they have two categories, but this is basically a structured sport that meets regularly, you know, regular practices, regular games.
Of that amount, 40.2% are male and 34.5% are female. And it's kind of interesting that the young ladies are starting to catch up with the young men, which I think is wonderful and speaks to the development of girls sports.
I picked three sports to kind of talk about participation. Baseball has over 3 million participants, and this is again in 2022. Soccer over 2 million, and then basketball is nearly 4 million. And I thought about it, and I guess that baseball and soccer are, you know, pretty expensive to have fields and maintain, whereas basketball maybe not as much. So the participation is greater.
So I want to talk about some advantages of sports.
The first advantage is that sports participation as a kid is a significant predictor of young adults participation in sports and physical fitness.
Adolescents who play sports are eight times as likely to be active at age 24 as compared to adolescents who do not play sports.
Personally, I played three sports throughout middle school and high school. And then, of course, I was quite active in the army. And I find now, even at age 45, with a busy life and a kid in sports who keeps me occupied, I have to be active, I have to do something, or I go completely crazy. Jeff has even told me before, oh, my God, go to the gym, because I'm driving him crazy also.
So that is a big indicator for how active they're going to be later in their lives.
The second way sports participation helps children is it develops and improves their cognitive skills. And this is according to a study that tracked kids from kindergarten through the fourth grade, which is kind of a small amount of time.
And it basically says that the physical activity in general is associated with improved academic achievement, including grades and standardized test scores. Now, I don't love those two things as a measure for cognition, but I understand that that's easy to measure in a number form.
It also says that, further, that sports activity can affect attitudes and academic behavior, and it improves concentration, attention, and improved classroom behavior.
That, to me, is a much more important stat. I know for Devin, if he is not regularly active, he will drive his teachers insane because he gets the wiggles and he needs to move around. And he is a tween boy who is already rowdy. So you gotta reign it in.
I think the most important benefit for kids and Then later, as they get older. For sports participation is mental health.
Big, big impact on mental health.
A 2019 study found that children who reported no exercise were twice as likely to have mental health problems, especially anxiety and depression. And that is compared to those who met the recommendation of one hour a day. And really, one hour a day isn't that much. And then a 2020 study suggested that the more physical activity that teenagers got or participated in, the less likely they were to report depression as 18 year olds. And that is kind of an important word to report depression. You know, generally people, especially at that age, don't report depression or anxiety or they can't even identify it. So, you know, there's probably a lot more that are experiencing depression and they just don't say it. But sports participation also for me improves my mental health just greatly, especially the anxiety.
Welcome back to 45 left or right podcast.
I want to note that you are going to find moms like Nicole and I complaining often about how much work it is for us to get our kids to and from their various sports. And then there are the emotions that we have to learn how to manage because of sports. But to us, all of this, the cars that are always loaded with equipment, chairs, old water bottles, granola bar wrappers and dirt, and cars that smell like sweaty children.
And then the meltdowns that we must manage. If they had a bad game, got yelled at by a coach, or they don't get along with a teammate, all of that is worth the effort. Our kids are learning incredible life lessons and they are gathering confidence for the bigger things ahead in their lives.
And to illustrate these bigger things in these life lessons, here is a final story.
The second or the year after Devin's second baseball season, he declared that he wanted to play catcher. He was tired of standing out in the outfield where, you know, he just, he really didn't get a lot of action. Now, for those of you who are not familiar with baseball, catcher is the absolute hardest position on the field. You have to wear all of this equipment in the heat and you have to block any wild pitch that is thrown at you. In kids at his age, they throw fast but not, not always on target. You have to be aware of all the runners and you have to throw out any of them who dare to steal or decide not to throw.
Lots of decisions always having to be made. There is a bat swinging above your head like always. It is really tough. And you know, Devin had a long way to go skill wise to be able to do it and to be honest. We were both half expecting him to lose interest in it, especially after seeing how hard it is. But even with our doubts, we supported him. We said, all right, if this is what you want to do, we will support you, like in any way that we can.
This kid went to catchers clinics. He looked for extra practices.
He was always asking his coaches for reps in practice. He spent the off season working with a trainer to improve his endurance and his leg and arm strength. He did not quit.
So this season he is getting to play some innings at catcher and he's doing well.
He put in all the effort and it's starting to pay off for him.
Yeah, we are so stinking proud of him. And even though there are opportunities outside of sports to set and achieve goals like this, I mean, let's face it, sports are a readily available way to do this.
I try to remember this particular story when I am yelling up at Devin from the downstairs, get your uniform on. Do you have your cup? Where are your cleats? Do you have your water bottle? Yes, you need to drink water. Get in the car. All of those things. It is worth it.
I hope you have enjoyed this episode of 45 left or right podcast. I have been getting a really great response from people who have heard the podcast and that makes me very happy and pleased. If you are among those who love the podcast, I do have a few favors to ask on whatever podcast platform that you use, whether it's Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or somewhere else.
If you could copy the link to the podcast and then send it to anyone you think you would who would like it, you can text it, you can email.
That would be really helpful. And also on, at least on Spotify under the title you will see some stars and it's eenie weenie. Probably have to put your reading glasses on. If you click that you will be able to rate the podcast and I think there's a way to review, but honestly I haven't found that yet. On Apple it's similar and you can also leave a comment that would help me a lot. That basically tells the algorithm that I'm good and eventually it'll get it to more people. That's how I understand it. I also have an Instagram and Twitter account for the podcast. For Instagram it is 45 left or right podcast and on Twitter it is 45 left or right podcast. So if you're on either of those just give me a little follow. And if you want to, you know, interact with my content, that also helps me so I appreciate that very much, and thank you for listening today. And until next time, bye for now.
[00:47:38] Speaker B: SA.
